Collisions and Castaways

I want so badly to able to sit here and write something profound and inspiring, but truthfully I just NEED to say SOMETHING. To try and make what I'm thinking in my head match the words I put here without hurting feelings or adding insult to injury. I long ago accepted that all people make mistakes (sometimes repeatedly as I have). We do and say things we don't mean, or maybe we do mean them we just don't want to admit it. No one is perfect and "all" we have to do is try and be the best person we possibly can. Why is it then that people stand in their own way and prevent themselves from doing so? (I include myself in these statements - I'm not trying to sound condescending)
What is it about human nature that prevents some of us from reaching our full potential? We make excuses and put up barriers, we use the negative things that have happened to us as fuel to continue down an unproductive, unhealthy path. There are always reasons as to why we can or can't do things, but does a point come when those reasons are no longer fit the situation? What then? We find more. I guess for some people it is engrained in our personality. I am one of the most cynical, negative people I know. It's not something I'm proud of, but it's just how I am. It's a lot easier to handle failure or loss when you expect it. If you know ahead of time that you are going to be hurt it's not a shock when you are.
I don't really know what my point is.
I just know that there are things that I have kept myself up all night about, regretting and replaying in my head, and instead of changing the aspect of my self that lead to those worrys and regrets I use them as an excuse to continue the behavior. I'm fairly certain that is the opposite of what is supposed to happen, but I guess eventually we all get to the point where we can't tolerate fucking up or being stuck treading water anymore. Maybe it just happens sooner for some.
Well, I don't really feel any better yet, but I guess it's therapeutic to ramble to yourself occasionally.